Some times in life people have a tendencies to get caught up in the moment to mask emotion in order to feel less.. Some people over eat, some people over shop, and some people over emote in order to cover the truth. I have maybe told two people I love them( non family related) and meant it. I could say with full coinfidence that i still have love for them to date. I barely say I love you to my parents mostly cause its not how I was raised.
longer story short .. I am sorry I was masking my feelings ..
Honesty will not always set you free from everything .. I know that I have hurt people before.. past few days that has become imensely evident. a college ex called my familes house in search of me .. once i was recovered from my little world.. i was recounted of all the horrible times I sat around and made him feel like shit for sticking around me , because as he puts it " i was queen worthy" but did not act accordingly.. the part i fail to mention is that when i thought he was "king worthy" and asked him to commit he said " find someone else to love you, because i am not the one" ... then the post of it all was me " being horrible" after he had come to his senses.. but that really is here nor there .. because I have hurt alot since then.. he is married with a family. We have all grown up since then... and unfortuatly as a adult I have still experienced pain and as per the emails I have been receiving still continue to hurt people..
I figured by telling the truth .. it may set me free.. .. from karma .. and/or guilt..
I did .. and followed my heart and although I am content ..I still feel bad..
So to tell the truth or not .. That is the question!!
