I emote .. Thats what I do best ..
Yet somehow I cant find the words..
I cry .. because I am in denile..
I am angry .. because it could have been avoided..
and when I dream I am trying so hard to see your face.. and I am almost there..
The woman who held down my family was taken from me and I didnt even get the warning notice..
I love my mother with all I have but .. my grandmother was my secret keeper..
I could go there at 4am .. and tell her anything ..
She would IM me at 4am .. just to talk ..
I cant keep saying .. i should have or could have >> because I know she misses me just as much as I miss her..
The look she would give me that I only I understood what she was saying..
The wooden spoons that kept the nurses in check when I was hospitilized.
I dont know why I feel like my loss is greater than anyone else.. We are all going through this ..
and I am trying to be strong .. but struggling ..
I feel lost ..
The little family I had downsized with in 24 hours by 2. I got to say good bye to my other grandmother..
But the last thing I said to my nane was I promised my brother wouldnt make a mess in Florida..
I understand I have a life to live and she would want me to live it to the best I could..
but not a day goes by when I dont think about her..
This isn;t all I want to say .. but I still cant find the words..
