He came with a backpack of clothes and a Xbox
I opened the door to good intentions and to my heart.
We were scared , but if the 3 day weekends we spend together were so awesome..
The rest of the work week was cake.. right ?
I am still not sure why I found him amazing..
He meowed like a cat when he was nervous or bored.. But it made me smile.
At night he held me like if he let me go id fall off the bed.
That was only after tent time where we would talk under the covers to protect our secrets.
Every night he would reveal a little bit more of what was behind curtain number two
I felt a connection ...
He felt ...
At first of course he searched and tried to find the words. Waiting and hoping to feel something ..
Because According to him .. If he couldnt love me ..
Then he was probably incapable of feeling it at all ..
and eventually he left ..
I miss tent time .. and every so often I get under the covers to find that he is not there...
Finding deficits with in my self that really dont exist trying to explain how this could have happened
Blaming his past lovers for walking on his soul and leaving imprints so deep that I would never be able to fill those shoes.
But hes gone..
and there are things I wanna tell him
Did you see that fight ? Have you heard that new track?
But he turns a deaf ear to my existence
fills my pillow with tears until my body weakens into a slumber.
Every essence of him that surrounds me makes ache
Memories don't live like people do ?
Do I Still exist to you?
To be cont ????